Too many times a guy has called me sassy. A year ago, any guy using that word to describe me would be automatically scratched off my potential dating list. Maybe that sounds rash, but I was so sick of guys trying to patronize me when they couldn't come up with a witty response and sassy was the word of choice. But maybe I mislead them.
Of late, I’ve been reminded of my lack of intimidation. The most recent reminder being two male colleagues likening me to a puppy—A PUPPY! Before you roll your eyes at what you think is another feminist rant, I will concede that it was kind of funny. They claimed that puppies are cute and people like them, but they aren't intimidating. I’m generally amiable and if I put my hair in pigtails, I think I could slightly resemble a cocker spaniel; however, if I thought these guys were serious, I would have chewed them out for trying to place me on a dog version of the Eve/Mary dichotomy.Still, they had a point. Not that I'm a puppy(I want to be taken more seriously than a puppy and I certainly don’t want to be patted on the head), but I'm not intimidating and for the most part, I don't try to be.
Being aggressive doesn't come naturally to me. Seriously, there’s a video of me chasing butterflies during a soccer game. Growing up in a sports family, the constant comment after my games were "You need to be more aggressive." I tried, but I'd hold back if I thought there was a risk of hurting someone. I have this tremendous feeling of guilt whenever I hurt someone, intentional or not. This holds true in social settings too. I observe the situation and get a feel of what is acceptable before I contribute to the conversation. I don't want to embarrass a guy I don't even know by calling him out on some ridiculous line he's trying to use to impress a girl, even if that girl is me. That's just not cool. I realize that this is problematic. There are certainly times in my life that I wish I’d spoken up or asserted myself more, but for the most part, I like this attitude. I get along with most people and live a fairly drama-free life.
I love to joke around and be sassy with people I know can take it. As some people get to know this side of me, they are surprised and I honestly like surprising them, especially when someone realizes that I'm semi-athletic. The only problem with keeping my sassy side kind of secret is that some people never realize that I'm more than a sweet, English nerd. Or in the case of the guys I won't date, they find out the cute, quiet girl actually talks back.