Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Root of My Sassiness

Too many times a guy has called me sassy. A year ago, any guy using that word to describe me would be automatically scratched off my potential dating list. Maybe that sounds rash, but I was so sick of guys trying to patronize me when they couldn't come up with a witty response and sassy was the word of choice. But maybe I mislead them.

Of late, I’ve been reminded of my lack of intimidation. The most recent reminder being two male colleagues likening me to a puppy—A PUPPY! Before you roll your eyes at what you think is another feminist rant, I will concede that it was kind of funny. They claimed that puppies are cute and people like them, but they aren't intimidating. I’m generally amiable and if I put my hair in pigtails, I think I could slightly resemble a cocker spaniel; however, if I thought these guys were serious, I would have chewed them out for trying to place me on a dog version of the Eve/Mary dichotomy.Still, they had a point. Not that I'm a puppy(I want to be taken more seriously than a puppy and I certainly don’t want to be patted on the head), but I'm not intimidating and for the most part, I don't try to be.

Being aggressive doesn't come naturally to me. Seriously, there’s a video of me chasing butterflies during a soccer game. Growing up in a sports family, the constant comment after my games were "You need to be more aggressive." I tried, but I'd hold back if I thought there was a risk of hurting someone. I have this tremendous feeling of guilt whenever I hurt someone, intentional or not. This holds true in social settings too. I observe the situation and get a feel of what is acceptable before I contribute to the conversation. I don't want to embarrass a guy I don't even know by calling him out on some ridiculous line he's trying to use to impress a girl, even if that girl is me. That's just not cool. I realize that this is problematic. There are certainly times in my life that I wish I’d spoken up or asserted myself more, but for the most part, I like this attitude. I get along with most people and live a fairly drama-free life.

I love to joke around and be sassy with people I know can take it. As some people get to know this side of me, they are surprised and I honestly like surprising them, especially when someone realizes that I'm semi-athletic. The only problem with keeping my sassy side kind of secret is that some people never realize that I'm more than a sweet, English nerd. Or in the case of the guys I won't date, they find out the cute, quiet girl actually talks back.


Clancy Clawson, the author said...

Time to join roller derby! It would be a great venue for you to express your frustration, sassiness, and athleticism. Also, it will teach you to be more aggressive. And if you are looking to shed that puppy image, just go by the name of Hoochie Poochie!

Musing Elitist said...

i'm going to have to say that your natural disposition is better than my own. i'm the opposite of you: i was too aggressive when playing sports and i intimidate guys. i think you got the better end of the stick. haha i remember seeing your style of dancing at that regional dance in london - i realized then that you were a bit more than an english nerd.